Beatles at Shea Stadium

Well, it's Tuesday, everybody.

This week's started off a bit glum for me, and unfortunately the rain predicted for tomorrow and Thursday promise to keep it low. Or at least, to pump enough humidity in the air to make me feel insecure about my hair. I do actually sort of perversely like rainy days when I'm at work, though, because it makes me feel like I've won somehow against all the people who don't have to be at work. Like, the day's already gloomy; I might as well be working inside instead of wandering around outside, wishing my cute jacket was actually waterproof or that I had remembered not to wear my so-comfortable-I-can't-bring-myself-to-throw-them-out flats that have holes in the soles.

I went up to my alma mater, Taylor University, over the weekend for Homecoming, and it was a bittersweet experience. I did enjoy seeing some truly lovely people again, and everyone was so kind and sweet about seeing me. Plus, I didn't have to open a door for myself the entire weekend- something I had forgotten to miss about good ol' TU boys. But being up there made me realize that...that part of my life is truly over. I mean, it's been almost half a year since I graduated, but in my mind I suppose I could've pictured myself quite easily assimilating back into college. Now, not so much.

I think it's this: I knew my life had changed; I didn't know I had changed, too.

It feels kind of major, but to avoid getting all hyperbolic, let me use a homespun analogy that came to me during the second hour of a particularly long staff meeting today: Imagine waking up in the middle of the night. You've been sleeping, which of course has been lovely, and all of a sudden you're not only awake, but rather discomfited by the state in which you find yourself: a bit sweaty, one foot hanging off the end of the bed, sheets tangled around one calf and a feeling of general disorientation in the darkness. Frankly, it's annoying.

But now that you've woken up, it can actually be a bit nice, rearranging yourself, righting the sheets, etc. Especially when you flip your pillow and press your cheek against the cool side. You know that sensation, right? Well, that's what this weekend showed me. Graduating has been like waking up, and realizing that I have all of these "problems" that I was blissfully unaware of just moments before. But getting my life rearranged can be satisfying in its own way. And realizing that part of this change can actually be enjoyable- like flipping a pillow- is a new and welcome sensation.

rkb